His first masterpiece was translated into French,
anno VI and the translator apologises that war with England alone
prevents the compilation of a suitable biography Was ever thief treated
with so grave a consideration?
Then another work was prefaced by the Right HonWilliam Eden, and
all were `embellished with beautiful coloured plates,' and ran through
several editions Once only did he return to poetry, the favoured medium
of his youth, and he returned to write an imperishable line Even then his
pedantry persuaded him to renounce the authorship, and to disparage the
achievement The occasion was the opening of a theatre at Sydney,
wherein the parts were sustained by convicts The cost of admission to
the gallery was one shilling, paid in money, flour, meat, or spirits
The play was entitled The Revenge and the Hotel, and Barrington
provided the prologue, which for one passage is for ever memorable
Thus it runs:
From distant climes, o'er widespread seas, we come,
Though not with much eclat or beat of drum; True patriots we, for
be it understood, We left our country for our country's good
No private views disgraced our generous zeal, What urged our
travels was our country's weal; And none will doubt, but that our
emigration Has proved most useful to the British nation
`We left our country for our country's good' That line, thrown
fortuitously into four hundred pages of solid prose, has emerged to
become the common possession of Fleet Street It is the man's one title
to literary fame, for spurning the thievish practice he knew so well, he was
righteously indignant when The London Spy was fathered upon him
Though he emptied his contemporary's pockets of many thousands, he
A BOOK OF SCOUNDRELS
enriched the Dictionary of Quotations with one line, which will be
repeated so long as there is human hand to wield a pen And, if the High
Constable of Paramatta was tediously respectable, George Barrington, the
Prig, was a man of genius
A BOOK OF SCOUNDRELS
THE SWITCHER AND
GENTLEMAN HARRY
I THE SWITCHER
DAVID HAGGART was born at Canonmills, with no richer birthright
than thievish fingers and a left hand of surpassing activity The son of a
gamekeeper, he grew up a long-legged, red-headed callant, lurking in the
sombre
gucci handbag new collection shadow of the Cowgate, or like the young Sir Walter, championing
the Auld Town against the New on the slopes of Arthur's Seat Kipping
was his early sin; but the sportsman's instinct, born of his father's trade,
was so strong within him, that he pinched a fighting cock before he was
breeched, and risked the noose for horse-stealing when marbles should
have engrossed his boyish fancy Turbulent and lawless, he bitterly
resented the intolerable restraint of a tranquil life, and, at last, in the hope
of a larger liberty, he enlisted for a drummer in the Norfolk Militia,
stationed at the moment in Edinburgh Castle A brief, insubordinate year,
misspent in his country's service, proved him hopeless of discipline: he
claimed his discharge, and henceforth he was free to follow the one craft
for which nature and his own ambition had moulded him
Like Chatterton, like Rimbaud, Haggart came into the full possession
of his talent while still a child A Barrington of fourteen, he knew every
turn and twist of his craft, before he escaped from school His youthful
necessities were munificently supplied by facile depredation, and the only
hindrance to immediate riches was his ignorance of flash kens where he
might fence his plunder Meanwhile he painted his soul black with
wickedness Such hours as he could snatch from the profitable conduct
of his trade he devoted to the austere debauchery of Leith or the Golden
Acre Though he knew not the seduction of whisky, he missed never a
dance nor a raffle, joining the frolics of prigs and callets in complete
forgetfulness of the shorter catechism In vain the kirk compared him to
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a `bottle in the smoke'; in vain the minister whispered of hell and the
gallows; his heart hardened, as his fingers grew agile, and when, at sixteen,
he left his father's house for a sporting life, he had not his equal in the
three kingdoms for cunning and courage
His first accomplice was Barney M'Guire, who--until a fourteen
stretch sent him to Botany Bay--played Clytus to David's Alexander, and it
was at Portobello Races that their brilliant partnership began Hitherto
Haggart had worked by stealth; he had tracked his booty under the cloud
of night Now was the moment to prove his prowess in the eye of day, to
break with a past which he already deemed ignoble His heart leaped
with the occasion: he tackled his adventure with the hot-head energy of a
new member, big with his maiden speech The victim was chosen in an
instant: a backer, whose good fortune had broken the bookmakers There
was no thief on the course who did not wait, in
dolce and gabbana uk hungry appetence, the
sportsman's descent from the stand; yet the novice outstripped them all
`I got the first dive at his keek-cloy,' he writes in his simple, heroic style,
`and was so eager on my prey, that I pulled out the pocket along with the
money, and nearly upset the gentleman' A steady brain saved him from
the consequence of an o'erbuoyant enthusiasm The notes were passed to
Barney in a flash, and when the sportsman turned upon his assailant,
Haggart's hands were empty
Thereupon followed an infinite series of brilliant exploits With
Barney to aid, he plundered the Border like a reiver He stripped the
yeomen of Tweedside with a ferocity which should have avenged the
disgrace of Flodden More than once he ransacked Ecclefechan, though
it is unlikely that he emptied the lean pocket of Thomas Carlyle There
was not a gaff from Newcastle to the Tay which he did not haunt with
sedulous perseverance; nor was he confronted with failure, until his figure
became a universal terror His common method was to price a horse, and
while the dealer showed Barney the animal's teeth, Haggart would slip
under the uplifted arm, and ease the blockhead of his blunt Arrogant in
his skill, delighted with his manifold triumphs, Haggart led a life of
unbroken prosperity under the brisk air of heaven, and, despite the risk of
his profession, he remained two years a stranger to poverty and
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imprisonment His worst mishap was to slip his forks into an empty
pocket, or to encounter in his cups a milvadering horse- dealer; but his
joys were free and frank, while he exulted in his success with a boyish
glee `I was never happier in all my life than when I fingered all this
money,' he exclaims when he had captured the comfortable prize of two
hundred pounds And then he would make merry at Newcastle or York,
forgetting the knowing ones for a while, going abroad in white cape and
tops, and flicking his leg like a gentleman with a dandy whip But at last
Barney and a wayward ambition persuaded him to desert his proper craft
for the greater hazard of cracking a crib, and thus he was involved in his
ultimate ruin He incurred and he deserved the untoward fate of those
who overlook their talents' limitation; and when this master of pickpockets
followed Barney through the window of a secluded house upon the York
Road, he might already have felt the noose tightening at his neck The
immediate reward of this bungled attack was thirty pounds, but two days
later he was committed with Barney to the Durham Assizes, where he
exchanged the obscurity of the
cheap chanel purse perfect craftsman for the notoriety of the
dangerous gaol-bird
For the moment, however, he recovered his freedom: breaking prison,
he straightway conveyed a fiddlestick to his comrade, and in a twinkling
was at Newcastle again, picking up purses well lined with gold, and
robbing the bumpkins of their scouts and chats But the time of security
was overpast Marked and suspicious, he began to fear the solitude of
the country; he left the horse-fair for the city, and sought in the budging-
kens of Edinburgh the secrecy impossible on the hill-side A clumsy
experiment in shop-lifting doubled his danger, and more than once he saw
the inside of the police-office Henceforth, he was free of the family; he
loafed in the Shirra-Brae; he knew the flash houses of Leith and the
Grassmarket With Jean Johnston, the blowen of his choice, he smeared
his hands with the squalor of petty theft, and the drunken recklessness
wherewith he swaggered it abroad hastened his approaching downfall
With a perpetual anxiety to avoid the nippers his artistry dwindled
The left hand, invincible on the Cheviots, seemed no better than a bunch
of thumbs in the narrow ways of Edinburgh; and after innumerable
A BOOK OF SCOUNDRELS
misadventures Haggart was safely lodged in Dumfries gaol No sooner
was he locked within his cell than his restless brain planned a generous
escape He would win liberty for his fellows as well as for himself, and
after a brief council a murderous plot was framed and executed A stone
slung in a handkerchief sent Morrin, the gaoler, to sleep; the keys found on
him opened the massy doors; and Haggart was free with a reward set upon
his head The shock of the enterprise restored his magnanimity Never
did he display a finer bravery than in this spirited race for his life, and
though three counties were aroused he doubled and ducked to such
purpose that he outstripped John Richardson himself with all his
bloodhounds, and two days later marched into Carlisle disguised in the
stolen rags of a potato-bogle
During the few months that remained to him of life he embarked upon
a veritable Odyssey: he scoured Scotland from the Border to StAndrews,
and finally contrived a journey oversea to Ireland, where he made the
name of Daniel O'Brien a terror to well-doers Insolent and careless, he
lurched from prison to prison; now it was Armagh that held him, now
Downpatrick, until at last he was thrust on a general charge of
vagabondage and ill-company into Kilmainham, which has since
harboured many a less valiant adventurer than David
watch chanel j12 black with diamonds Haggart Here the
culminating disgrace overtook him: he was detected in the prison yard by
his ancient enemy, John Richardson, of Dumfries, who dragged him back
to Scotland heavily shackled and charged with murder So nimble had he
proved himself in extrication, that his captors secured him with pitiless
severity; round his waist he carried an iron belt, whereto were padlocked
the chains, clanking at his wrists and ankles Thus tortured and helpless,
he was fed `like a sucking turkey in Bedlam'; but his sorrows vanished,
and his dying courage revived at sight of the torchlight procession, which
set forth from Dumfries to greet his return
His coach was hustled by a mob, thousands strong, eager to catch sight
of Haggart the Murderer, and though the spot where he slew Morrin was
like fire beneath his passing feet, he carried to his cell a heart and a brain
aflame with gratified vanity His guilt being patent, reprieve was as
hopeless as acquittal, and after the assured condemnation he spent his last
A BOOK OF SCOUNDRELS
few days with what profit he might in religious and literary exercises He
composed a memoir, which is a model of its kind; so diligently did he
make his soul, that he could appear on the scaffold in a chastened spirit of
prayerful gratitude; and, being an eminent scoundrel, he seemed a proper
subject for the ministrations of Mr `That is the one
thing I did not know before,' he confessed with an engaging modesty,
when his bumps were squeezed, and yet he was more than a match for the
amiable phrenologist, whose ignorance of mankind persuaded him to
believe that an illiterate felon could know himself and analyse his
character
His character escaped his critics as it escaped himself Time was
when George Borrow, that other picaroon, surprised the youthful David,
thinking of Willie Wallace upon the Castle Rock, and Lavengro's romantic
memory transformed the raw-boned pickpocket into a monumental hero,
who lacked nothing save a vast theatre to produce a vast effect He was a
Tamerlane, robbed of his opportunity; a valiant warrior, who looked in
vain for a battlefield; a marauder who climbed the scaffold not for the
magnitude, but for the littleness of his sins Thus Borrow, in complete
misunderstanding of the rascal's qualities
Now, Haggart's ambition was as circumscribed as his ability He died,
as he was born, an expert cly-faker, whose achievements in sleight of hand
are as yet unparalleled Had the world been one vast breast pocket his
fish-hook fingers would have turned it inside
chanel knockoff out